To Play The Fool
by Shenandoah76209
Summary: Jayne and Simon had gotten a lot friendlier after Miranda. And when River was taken the two of them were united even further. No matter what it took or how long, they would find River again. It was probably a good thing that Jayne was a lot smarter than he acted. And Simon wasn't nearly as much of a greenhorn. Part of the Chains 'Verse.
1. Chapter 1

_**To Play The Fool**_

This fellow is wise enough to play the fool,

And to do that well craves a kind of wit.

He must observe their mood on whom he jests,

The quality of persons, and the time,

And, like the haggard, check at every feather

That comes before his eye. This is a practise

As full of labor as a wise man's art,

-Twelfth Night – William Shakespeare

* * *

Chapter 1

The quiet woke him up. When _Serenity_ was on the ground she still made noise of some sort. The hum of the lights overhead, the sound of water going through the pipes as the ship flushed out the systems and took on fresh. The sound of footsteps, light on the metal decking and stairs, the cargo bay doors opening and closing… then opening and closing again.

He dozed fitfully after an automatic look at the chrono for the time, waiting to hear those footsteps again, for whatever errand that had to be run accomplished and his crew returned to the boat.

The footsteps didn't come and he woke into the silence with a sick feeling in his gut.

* * *

Mal still didn't have a clue when it came to trackin', not in the city, nor the country or even a middlin' town like this one. Five hours past dawn the marketplace was already a goin' concern, and that made findin' the trail a bit harder, but not impossible.

River's boot marks were in the dirt at _Serenity's_ feet. Simon's fancier shoe marks followin' hers for some reason. When the Doc would actually let his sister be the grown woman Doc swore he knew she was… well that was anybody's guess. He'd gotten her inoculations, an' he'd even sprung for one of them fancy contraptions Core women used when they wanted ta save their eggs for when they was actually ready ta have babies.

Simon still weren't really ready ta have his sister start datin' though, for all he said he was, an' proof was in the footprints on the ground, Simon's followin' his sister's steps into the market.

If they didn't have cargo to pick up he doubted they'd've stayed more'n a day. But the ship they were meetin' were late and they couldn't go anywhere with an empty (mostly) hold. Mal had groused an' grumbled an' Zoe had waited him out 'til he'd figured they's better off stayin' put.

If River had met a guy an' were sneakin' out, or being what she called discreet, to meet him maybe it was a good thing they'd been stuck for a day. He didn't see her in the market though or hear her voice. An' since he'd made it half way through the common he should've at least found some sign a Simon. What Mal didn't know about trackin' could be doubled when it came ta Simon. Doc were smart but he didn't have the faintest clue when it came ta hidin' a trail.

As town squares went it weren't one a the nicer ones, dusty, grass half dead from boots walkin' on it, dirt alleys leadin' offa it behind buildings that had some pretension ta durability. The storefronts on the streets off the square featured big windows with security grills over 'em, most a them still down since it were early yet an' the market was thrivin'. Stores'd open as the market was windin' down, catch sales from stragglers and folks from the ports what didn't know 'bout the market.

This far out on the edge of Alliance controlled space you saw all sortsa boats, even some a those odd ones that sailed with cryostasis. Mal'd shaken his head when he'd seen a few of those, muttering about idiots signing up to be a banquet. Simon had gently teased him, asking if he wouldn't like a nice quiet ship of passengers in cryo, sleep his way through a trip.

Mal had laughed and said he'd no notion Simon was aspirin' to be a hot lunch and the Doc had just grinned at him. Doc wasn't bad now that he'd relaxed some. Wasn't always sayin' somethin' stupid ta upset Kaylee. His sister was turning into a helluva pilot. He an' Kaylee were teaching her to cook, Simon too when they could manage. River caught on faster than her brother. No surprise there.

He inhaled and frowned. Markets smelt of livestock, dusty produce, dry goods, second hand stuff to trade, manure and sweat. Town squares like this, so far out from White Sun, wouldn't have a strong Purplebelly presence. Part of why Mal liked 'em so much. So why'd the air stink a knockout gas like the cops used ta put down riots?

Stronger the further around the common he got, strongest near an alley an' under it a strong smell of blood. Grass an' dirt trampled with signs a more than a dozen boots, a half print of Simon's narrow toed shoe, an' a scuff that looked like River's boot heel dragged in the dirt an' partly smeared. Hard to read, but blood was unmistakable.

Smelling blood the body in the alley wasn't a surprise, that Simon was alive was a welcome shock. "Doc," He frowned as he crouched down next to him. "_Cào dàn_ that's bad."

"Jayne," Simon's bloody hand grabbed hold of his wrist with surprising strength even if his voice was weaker than it should be. Doc was paler too, from the amount of blood soaking the dirt he'd lost way too much. "Jayne they took her!"

"_T__ā mā __de __dì yù_," He wasn't much good with words in a crisis unless it was cursing. Doc had gotten a tourniquet on his leg, but he was still bleeding too much. It wasn't tight enough. "First things first Doc, gotta keep ya from bleedin' to death." Simon always wore a belt, and he even still had his gun on it, which was no small miracle really. "Gonna use your belt, keep ya from losin' any more blood."

Simon's gun clipped onto his own belt easy enough. The slender belt were soft enough leather that it would tighten good around Simon's thigh, cut off the blood long enough ta get him back to _Serenity_. A poke with a knife though the leather and the buckle snugged good and taut around the leg. "Stay with me Doc, gonna need that three percent brain a yers."

The Doc still didn't weigh much, even with the muscle he'd started addin' ta his wiry frame, pickin' him up an' puttin' him in what Mal called a soldier's carry was easy 'nough. He got a few looks runnin' through the damn market but there weren't time to go 'round an' be discreet. _Serenity_'s bay door was open, Zoe standin' in the doorway, lowerin' the ramp. The goods musta finally shown up. Her eyes went wide as she saw him runnin' for the ship with Simon over his shoulders an' she shouted for Mal.

Jayne nodded at her an' ran for the infirmary, flipping on the lights an' getting Simon on the table. He could hear Mal shoutin' back to Zoe, man had a voice ta carry 'crosst a battlefield an' it echoed through the cargo bay somethin' fierce.

"Mal! Infirmary! Now!" Jayne could bellow well enough too. "Doc's hurt bad!"

That got Mal running. "What'n the—" He stopped as he got into the infirmary and shouted for River. "Gonna need her brain."

"Ain't here," Jayne got busy cutting the Doc's pants off. Simon weren't in no shape ta help, having passed out somewhere on the run back to the boat. "Doc says 'they' took her. No clue who."

"_Nǐ tā mā de tiān xià suǒ yǒu de rén dōu gāi sǐ._"

That's a sentiment Jayne could get behind as Mal began to help him get Simon ready for whatever help they could manage ta give him. "Mal he's lost a lotta blood."

"Yeah," Cap'n was nodding grimly. "He ain't a match to me though. Nor Zoe."

"Doc got us all typed, keeps it written on that chart," Jayne nodded at the wall. "Said somethin' 'bout me bein' a universal donor."

"Means you can give him blood," Mal told him. "An' he's gonna need plenty. Get Kaylee to mix you up some juice an' soup or somethin'. Keep you fueled up."

"Yeah…" Jayne frowned as he tugged off Simon's socks. "Mal we got bigger problems. I don' like the looks a this."

"_Jiàn tā de guǐ_," Mal's curse at the sight of Simon's toes was another sentiment Jayne found himself agreeing with. "Jayne how long'd he been bleedin'?"

He had to think, "Heard footsteps, 'round four am ship time… an' the bay door echoin'…kept dozin'…waitin' y'know…for 'em to come back. Woke up, realized I ain't heard 'em yet…got a bad feelin' an' went lookin'."

"It's after eight now," Zoe commented in her stoic way. She stood in the door, "Cargo's loaded."

"Go see if this _tǔ lǎo mào_ town's got a doctor," Mal commanded grimly. "Don't dare take that tourniquet off yet an' you an' me, we ain't good 'nough at doctorin' to cut off a limb. Jayne, you—" He stopped as Kaylee appeared behind Zoe and cut off the shocked question on his mechanic's lips before she could even speak, "Kaylee, you get on up to the galley, mix up a ton a juice and soup, Jayne's donatin' blood an' he's gonna need it." Zoe took off at a run and Jayne spared a thought to thank Shepherd Book and God that Jason was a late sleeper.

"Pulse ain't too good neither," He did not like the stuttering feel of it under his fingers on Simon's neck.

"Right," Mal was grabbing the needles and tubes. "'Fraid you're gonna start donatin' now Jayne."

"'S fine," He nodded and held out his arm, unbuttoning Simon's shirt with one hand. "Just make it long 'nough I can hand you stuff as you need it. Leastways 'til Zoe gets back."

* * *

Simon stayed blessedly unconscious through the whole thing. Turned out the town did have a doctor, not that he was as good as Simon, but he was good enough to clamp off the big ass artery in the Doc's leg long enough to sew it shut and wrap it in the bandages Simon kept on hand. Doc was always going on about having the right supplies since they all couldn't seem to get through a job without someone shooting at them.

Jayne got to sit through the whole thing, attached to Simon by tubes as he was, and had to listen to Mal argue with the town doc about Simon's leg and what needed to be cut off. By the time they'd gotten the doctor and he'd gotten the artery and slice to the Doc's leg sewn up, a lotta time had passed. Weaves would work on the muscles that'd been cut through but once flesh was dead, there wasn't any bringin' it back.

He might not know a lot about doctorin' but he knew that time was the enemy. Especially when you had a tourniquet on. Mal managed to argue the town doctor down. The man had wanted to cut the leg off above the knee.

"How much did they cut off," Simon's voice woke him out of the half doze he'd been in. The town doctor had hooked him up to some clear stuff he called plasma, so Jayne could give Simon some more blood. Jayne'd been either dozing or eating since they'd left dirt. "Did you find River?"

Jayne really hadn't wanted to be the one to tell him, "Zoe an' Kaylee went out, went through the whole town. She weren't nowhere ta be found. Mal thinks whoever they were, they got her on a ship an' took off."

Simon's deep breath sounded harsh in the air, "It was a group of men. Dirty, unshaven. One was absolutely huge, bigger than you even. He grabbed me when I tried to keep them away from River. I think they'd gassed her. She was nearly to the end of the alley… I smelled something… like that knockout gas that pacifies people rioting."

"Pacifies 'em right to the ground," Jayne nodded his understanding. "Smelt it when I found you. Guess even River couldn't stop breathing long enough to get away from that. That _zāo gāo_ works fast."

"They weren't purplebellies," Simon told him. "They must have gotten it illegally."

"How ever it was they got it, they got it an' used it. But we'll find her," Jayne reached out and cranked the bed up so Simon wasn't flat on his back. "As for the other thing… see for yourself."

Mal had convinced the town doctor that Simon didn't need as much amputation as the man wanted to do. Once the blood was going back into the leg Simon's flesh had pinkened up pretty quick, to a point. Even Mal couldn't argue about that. Simon's leg now ended four and a half inches below the knee.

The Doc took a deep breath and looked, and nodded, "Well at least prosthetics have come a long way from peg legs."

"Fixed ya up a cane, pipe with some rubber wrapped around the bottom and handle so you can grip it," Jayne picked it up from the floor and showed it to him. "Not much else I could do whiles I's sitting here. Mal says it'll be a while 'fore you need it but I figure just in case. An' if you got doctorin' ta do we got a stool with wheels. Raises an' lowers."

Simon nodded, "I'll need to get on the cortex and refresh my memory on therapies and preparation for the prosthetic, and the cost of them."

"Comes ta that I'm bettin' Kaylee could make ya something works just as good as anythin' we could steal offa Ariel." Jayne gave him a half grin, heartened when the Doc smiled back.

"I appreciate it Jayne," Simon took another breath. "And thank you, for coming to find me, I'd be dead in that alley if you hadn't."

"Eh, heard ya go out, didn't hear ya come back, got a bad feelin'," Jayne shrugged. "I'll get on the comms, let the rest of 'em know yer awake. You tell Mal an' Zoe what you told me."

* * *

The first year Simon had been on board _Serenity_ he'd been such a greenhorn that Jayne had been hard pressed to not shove him out the airlock out of sheer irritation. He'd been prissy, proud, half grown and acting like he thought he was a full adult man. It took a while before Jayne had figured out why Simon acted the way he did. Manners and what the Doc considered proper behavior were pretty much the only thing he had to offer apart from doctoring skills.

Simon had relaxed some after Miranda and mostly pulled the stick out of his _pì gu_. Jayne guessed not worrying constantly about his sister could only help. And they weren't fugies anymore. Plus River was getting her sanity back in huge chunks at a time. So she could not only tell her _gē ge_ when he was being a boob, she could tell him why. The Doc's knowledge of the Black and what was needed to survive increased a lot after River got sane. Mostly because she'd argued him round when it came to practical skills. So, he'd improved, learned to use a gun, and a knife, and what he could do with a scalpel now had nothin' to do with doctoring. Not that he did much, but there were some…moments. Nothin' Mal planned ever went smooth after all. That's just how it was.

But if he'd lost part of his leg in that first year, Jayne would have bet money that he'd crumble, whine, moan and cry. Just, in general, feel sorry for himself. Jayne was the first to admit he hadn't known Simon that well back then. The Doc was soft spoken, polite, and well dressed. There wasn't a hint of steel about him.

He hadn't really had a clue just how good Simon was at what he did until Ariel. First, he'd planned the heist and that was a gorram good take. But he'd saved some fella's life as if he was just as important as River was to him. Doc was commandin', snappin' out orders and information like he was born to it. Like Mal was when a job was going south, figuring a way out, working angles or the way Jayne was when he was given something to track or hunt. In his element River called it. Jayne had finally understood what that expression meant.

It took Jayne time to figure it out, but one thing Simon always had was spine. And he was stubborn to boot. Butted heads with Mal often enough, didn't take any shit from Jayne either. He'd gotten his first hint of Simon's spine on the Lassiter job. He still hadn't liked the Doc much then but he could respect the man's attitude about them working together. And the Doc had held to his word too. Then Jayne heard about what happened when that Early _hún dàn_ had snuck onto the boat. Dealing with a stone-cold killer like Early without pissing himself in fear, and trying to protect Kaylee and his sister took some stainless-steel balls. So Doc just picked an' chose when he put his spine to use. Top three percent weren't for nothin' Jayne guessed.

So, he'd had to revise his opinion of the Doc a bit. Then Simon had caught River writing out his letters for him while they were repairing _Serenity_. He got a job hauling crates on the docks during the day so he'd earn and nights he worked on _Serenity_. He'd been so gorram tired he couldn't even hold a pencil or see straight to type in the cortex (if it had been working, which it weren't). Simon had pulled him into the infirmary and checked his blood pressure and all the other _zá wù_ and then given him some injections. "It's not much, Vitamin D, some B-twelve and Vitamin C. I'm going to give you a sleep aid, it'll help you stay asleep for about four hours. That's the minimum you need to stay healthy. I'm going to give you some supplements to take with meals. You come and see me every week, I'll check you out, make sure you're not coming down with anything."

He hadn't taken no for an answer on that one, climbing up the side of the boat with his doctor bag at night when Jayne had been working on welding _Serenity_'s hull. He was sure they made a hi-larious sight, Simon with his medical bag and injectors, checking Jayne's blood pressure an' levels an' all.

River had helped too, watching him when he'd been working and sending him off to sleep somewhere while she took over the tasks. Once she got sane Jayne could see River as more of a little sister and Simon a little brother. They certainly teased each other enough. More than once he'd caught River fixing the crew quarters since everything had gotten tossed around when _Serenity_ had crashed. Being towed to Eavesdown hadn't exactly helped either.

She'd taken great care to hang all his guns up in the same spots they'd always been, made his bed and put his clothes in his little bureau. Even his gun and girly mags were stacked where he'd always kept them. He guessed she'd done the same with everyone else's bunks too from the shocked exclamations he heard outa the rest of the crew.

Ever since Simon had caught him with River writing letters he'd inquired after Jayne's family and how they were. He remembered that Jayne's father was a welder and still employed even with other workers laid off and asked about his work. Maybe he was just being polite but he asked and he listened to the answers.

Now he limped into the galley, using the cane for balance as he tried out the prosthetic Kaylee had made, "Mal said you got post. How are your parents doing?"

"Dad's still workin'," Jayne nodded. "Ma's worried 'bout Mattie. She got another spell of damp lung."

"How long has she been sick?" Simon took a seat and pulled one of his datapads out of the satchel he carried. It kept one hand free for his gun since the other was on the cane.

"Pretty much most a her life," Jayne did his best to explain his little sister's health problems. Silverhold wasn't the worst planet to grow up on. The mines were fairly productive and the manufacturing plants gave pretty steady employment. They smog wasn't too bad and if you were smart like Mattie the schools would do their job.

Simon kept taking notes and frowning as Jayne told him about Mattie. "Jayne, was there ever a time you can remember when a lot of people got sick at once when you were growing up? Maybe when Mattie was very young?"

Jayne shook his head, "Cain't recall anythin' like that, companies are pretty strict makin' sure ev'ryone's gettin' innocked an' all. Mattie come 'bout three weeks early though, I 'member runnin' for the midwife halfway 'cross town."

"Hmm… well that let's out one of my theories, though her being premature could have something to do with her lungs developing properly or not," Simon rubbed his chin. "Would you mind if I sent a letter along with yours to your parents? Asking some more questions? It's hard to diagnose when I can't see someone and a secondhand medical history doesn't help."

"Yeah Doc, whatever ya need," Jayne nodded. "We get close enough we could wave my folks even."

* * *

Simon was walking more easily on the pros-the-tic these days. He'd jokingly called it the peg leg when Jayne had trouble saying the fancified word for it. No offense intended to Kaylee who'd made the thing an' kept it in working order. Kaylee was happier'n ever 'cept for missing River, because Simon had a lot better idea of what she did with machines. He'd even set himself ta studyin' so he an' Kaylee could talk about her job some. Of course, it might also have somethin' to do with her and the Doc havin' sex. A lot. He was thinking of stealin' some soundproofing stuff an' convincing Mal to put it in the walls.

"We're not very far," Simon was following Mal. "Jayne and I could take the shuttle."

"Doc, neither a you knows how to fly the shuttle," Mal pointed out and Jayne looked over at him curiously.

"Why're we taking the shuttle somewhere?"

"Doc, we gotta get the cargo dropped on Clawthorn and then we're headed to Pelorum with more of those gorram dolls," Mal shook his head.

"It won't take long," Simon argued. "Jayne says Mattie is a pilot. You keep saying we need a pilot for when we need to make a fast exit."

"That true Jayne?" Mal looked at him and Jayne nodded dumbly as he figured out what Simon was doing.

Along with teaching him his letters so he'd write better and helpin' with the spellin' and asking about Mattie's health with letters of his own, Simon was trying to make a doctor's visit to Silverhold so he could help Jayne's little sister. Even though he was worried sick about his own missing little sister, of which, so far, there'd been no sign. And Simon was arguing to maybe hire Mattie on, which would put River outa a job if they ever found her. Or at least usin' that as a ready excuse to get Mal over to Silverhold.

"Yeah, Ma said she's been workin' the docks, mostly flyin' a whale chaser, movin' cargo containers, but she's a good pilot," Jayne nodded again. "Ain't got fancy schoolin' though."

"I don't need fancy, I need someone to get the boat off the ground," Mal shook his head. "Thought she was sickly though?"

"Flyin' don't require a ton a hardiness. Ain't like flyin' 'round the docks on Silverhold's callin' for barn swallows an' crazy ivans," Jayne shrugged. "An' she's breathin' better on the ships. Leastways that's what she said in her last letter."

"Well…if you can promise me it won't take us more than a day out of our way…" Mal was looking at Simon who nodded. "We'll divert to Silverhold after Clawthorn. Simon can do his doctorin' and we'll see if Mattie will do as a pilot."

* * *

Mattie had met them at the docks, "Hey," She greeted Jayne as if she'd just seen him yesterday instead of three years ago, giving him a big hug. She was still too thin, a half a head shorter than he was, but her hair's just as curly as his, fallin' in a braid over one shoulder, an' her eyes were the same bright blue.

"Mattie," It always gave him a jolt that she was taller than their Ma, taller than the Doc actually. "This's Doc Simon, an' this's Mal, he's Cap'n a the boat."

"Nice ta meet yas," Mattie was politer than he was. "'M Martha Cobb, but ev'ryone calls me Mattie. Be pleased if you'd do the same."

"Good to meet you too," Mal nodded shaking her hand. "Jayne says you're a pilot?"

"Yeah, licensed an' all," Mattie nodded. "Had to pass the tests 'fore they'd let me fly a whale chaser. Just need a few hours to get to know a ship an' then I'm usually good. Company moves me 'round to different boats dependin' on where I'm needed."

"Mattie, Jayne mentioned you're prone to an illness called damp-lung," Simon held out his hand to shake hers politely. "I hope you'll allow me to listen to your lungs, maybe I can help."

"If ya can that'd be a relief," Mattie nodded. "Lord knows when I get one a those spells I cain't work an' that's part a why I keep gettin' moved 'round to different boats. An' it's hard on Ma and Dad, doctors ain't exactly cheap."

"Well I assure you; I won't charge you a pence," Simon smiled at her, completely unphased by yet another woman topping him in height. Doc was good like that. "Jayne's like family. Anything I can do to help I'd like to."

That were something unexpected. Simon didn't throw words like family around lightly. He didn't say things he didn't mean neither.

"Sure, if you think it'll help," Mattie was nodding. "Don't see the harm."

"And with that ringing endorsement," Simon was grinnin' so Jayne knew he hadn't taken offense.

* * *

_Author's Note: So this was something I had in the back of my mind. How River was taken and how Simon was found. The way he and Jayne have gotten closer. _

**Chinese Translations**:

_Cào dàn_ (damn it! / fuck!)

_T__ā mā __de __dì yù _ (fucking hell)

_Nǐ tā mā de tiān xià suǒ yǒu de rén dōu gāi sǐ._ (Fuck everyone in the universe to death.)

_Jiàn tā de guǐ_ (damnit/ bloody hell)

_tǔ lǎo mào_ (hillbilly / yokel / redneck / bumpkin)

_zāo gāo_ (Crap, nuts, crud)

_pì gu_ (butt)

_gē ge_ (big brother)

_hún dàn_ (bastard)

_zá wù_ (junk)


	2. Chapter 2

They'd had a nice visit with his folks, Ma and Dad met the crew finally. Turned out Mattie had asthma, and the air around the mines and manufacturing was polluted enough that it aggravated her lungs. That was why she kept gettin' sick. Made sense, all the schools were in towns, all the towns sprouted up around the mines and the factories. They couldn't afford to move to the country where the air was better, even if any of them could farm or ranch worth a damn. The only reason Jayne had any talent or skill at tracking was because he'd hook school and make for the edge of town, learning to hunt and track so he could bring food home.

Mal was impressed enough with Mattie's skill as a pilot that he offered her the job. The visit was simultaneous with Mattie packing up her things. At least Mal had brought the mule. Not that Mattie had a lot but it was better that she didn't strain her lungs walking through the dirty air.

Simon put her on some sorta medicine you inhaled an' another medicine that helped her lungs grow stronger. An' something else he called a steroid. Then he contrived somethin' he called 'breathin' treatments'. He said Mattie's lungs might never be perfect an' if she caught a cold they'd have to be very careful that it didn't settle in her chest, but Mattie didn't really care since she could breathe day to day 'thout have fits.

Mal was slightly more relaxed about jobs since he didn't have to run in from whatever heist they'd pulled an' immediately hightail it to the bridge. He'd even unbent enough to take a job from Badger.

* * *

"Simon!" Mal was bellowing as he ran onto the boat.

Jayne nearly dropped a dumbbell on his foot he was so startled, "He's up in the galley."

"We got a job out on Paquin," Zoe informed him as she came in after Mal. "Get everything locked down here an' get on up to the galley."

That was new, maybe the new job was more high falutin' or crazier'n usual? An' wouldn't that be a change, he rolled his eyes as he started to lock everything down.

* * *

When he got up to the galley finally, Mattie was looking around in confusion, Kaylee was typing frantically on a keyboard while Simon called information from the bridge. Finally, he was done and came limping back to the galley, "You're sure?" He looked at Mal.

From Mal's expression it wasn't the first time he'd asked, "Sure as I'm talkin' to you. She's pretty gorram distinctive. Might could say unforgettable."

Jayne pulled a chair out for Simon as he went to get coffee, "Doc you want some? Mattie? Kaylee?"

"Please," Simon rubbed his forehead. "Thanks Jayne."

He nodded as he got mugs and brought them and the pot to the table, "Someone wanna fill me in?"

"Mal and Zoe saw River at Badger's," Simon summed it up pretty quick.

"Then where is she," Jayne looked at Zoe whose face was just as expressionless as it always was these days.

"Ran," Zoe said flatly sitting down and taking a mug.

"Maybe you might could start from the beginnin'," Jayne suggested as he poured his sister and Kaylee their coffee.

"We go into Badger's office, and he's got folk in there already," Zoe began. "One of 'em this big _gǒu niáng yǎng de_ an' the other we could hardly see behind him. And he tells us that if we want to live we should turn around." She shook her head, "Cap'n tells him we've got business there and once we got a few steps closer… could see her well enough."

"I said her name," Mal recalled. "And he moved in front of her."

"He said he didn't know who we thought we were, or thought she was," Zoe continued. "But 'Kitten' was his and we weren't taking her."

"You sure it was her?" Kaylee looked at the Captain. "River knows ya, she'd a been happy ta see ya I'd've thought.

"Told him he had no idea who he was traveling with," Zoe recalled. "And then she started talking, and I knew it was her for certain. She talked about knives in her brain and needles in her eyes. He might've been made of stone but when she started talking like that his face changed."

"Yeah he got even more murdery looking," Mal nodded. "But he said something to her. Something about moss and bugs?"

"Cicadas taking moss," Zoe agreed. "And she said 'she remembers'. And the Cap'n said he didn't care how many knives the man had, he had no right to talk about River like she belonged to him."

"He's ex-military of some sort," The Captain said thoughtfully. "That thing he said to her… that's an old phrase pilots would use in aerial dog fights. Sorta a recall, for retreat."

"Really," Simon looked at Kaylee. "Do you think we could use that to narrow down his origins?"

"Doubt it," Mal shook his head. "You'd have to go through the entire military, Alliance, Independent and any Mercenary Guilds that do work for planetary security. Ain't exactly uncommon to know it."

"What is it though?" Kaylee tilted her head, "I mean if we hear it again we can at least look at who's talkin' right?"

"It's mostly used for the base ship to call back its fighters," Mal explained. "Base waves the fighters and says 'What do you hear'. Fighters lot of times are flying through their bases countermeasures, shrapnel and such, and it hits the glass. 'Cause of the sound it makes the fighter says 'nothin' but the rain'. Base knows they're alive and well, tells 'em, 'grab your gun and bring the cat in'. The fighter comes back with something appropriate to the situation, usually a response lets the base know how far out they are, or how many enemy fighters are hanging around."

Zoe nodded, "It's useful for ground troops too, if they've sent out scouts."

"So this guy, he was sayin' this stuff to River?" Kaylee frowned, "How'd she know it?"

"Read it maybe, or she's worked with him before," Mal shrugged.

"Way he acted with her argued for the latter," Zoe pointed out. "But they say 'ready, steady, go' and she's out Badger's skylight as if it's another door." She paused a moment, "That growl though… it was like hearing thunder, rumbling through the air. She didn't even react to it, just took off."

"Badger looked some unnerved. The hair on the back of my neck stood up," Jayne had never seen Mal look quite that disturbed. "I cussed him, wanted to know who the hell he thought he was."

"He tells us that 'his' Kitten was scared and not happy to see us. That he hadn't ever heard her like that. Said he was his, and he was hers. And she was the only one he'd talk about this with." Zoe continued, "And Mal tells him that River's family. That he's got no right to keep her away from us."

"He tells us that he and River keep each other safe, that she's afraid of us and that gives him rights," Mal sounded very unhappy about that. "That we had no idea what she was traveling with and if we wanted to find out to keep on coming. So I go back at him, sayin' we ain't havin' her be owned. And he comes back that he don't know who we are, and he don't care. But if we try to track him we'll end up holding our intestines."

"Then he jumps out through the skylight," Zoe nods. "From the floor it's easily nine, nine and a half feet up, and he jumped like he was takin' the stairs. River had to climb up Badger's desk but she was gorram fast."

"What did he look like?" Mattie liked to listen to the whole story before she asked questions. "Would you be likely to recognize him if you saw him again?"

"Tall, big, easily as big as Jayne," Mal rubbed his chin. "Clean shaven, either naturally bald or he shaves his skull too. Talks close to Rim but not quite. Somethin' off about it. His accent when he curses sounds like River's. Might not have known much Chinese before he met her. So he could be from the outer systems."

"Muscles on muscles," Zoe added. "Jayne I'd say he could take you in a fight and not even break a sweat. Just how he moves. Wears sidearms but he's got knives on him too. No jewelry or anything like tattoos. His skin is dark but not dark as mine, but much darker than River's."

"And he wears goggles, like welders' goggles, even in Badger's place, might be he's got a weakness in his eyes," Mal told them.

"Well we can try a search with those parameters," Simon suggested. "It was definitely River though?"

"Ain't no mistakin' her," Mal shook his head. "She looked like she was okay. Just…freaked out about seeing us."

"I…" Jayne really didn't like this theory but it had to be said. "The way you said she was talkin'… knives an' needles, Doc, could whoever took her have done somethin' ta make her forget about us? Maybe seein' Mal an' Zoe was hurtin' her brain? Scarin' her?"

"I doubt it," Simon considered the idea before he answered. "The way River's memory works, it would be almost impossible to do thoroughly enough. And if they could manage it, her former training would be useless because that would be removed as well. Whoever took her, it's likely they did so on the behalf of Blue Sun. That training cost them time and money. They wouldn't want to waste anymore of either."

"So we know she's travelin' with this big _hún dàn_," Mattie sipped her coffee. "And we know that she can fly. So maybe they've got a boat of their own?"

"We husked our way into Eavesdown's cortex, got a list of all the boats here and all the ones who left an hour before or right around the time you got back," Kaylee tapped the data pad. "So maybe we can narrow down which boat is theirs."

"It's a start," Mal nodded. "Meanwhile, we have a job we need to get doing."

* * *

He hadn't really realized just how depressed Simon's mood had been since River was taken. Her abduction bein' all tied up with his leg getting cut off an' the recoverin' afterwards, Simon had been quieter an' focused on his therapy.

Doc was good at pretendin' everything was all right. When Zoe and Mal came back sayin' they'd seen River an' she's alive and possibly free, he'd brightened up so much it was a wonder Jayne hadn't noticed how down he'd been before.

"Seem better," He commented as he showed Simon (again) how to make somethin' edible out of rainbow-colored protein. Somethin' didn't smell like crotch.

"Walking is easier, though I doubt I'll ever get rid of the limp completely," Simon agreed, missing the point completely. How the man could be so gorram smart and so oblivious at the same time…

"Ain't what I meant ya boob," He rolled his eyes and used River's favorite derogatory term for her _gē ge_. "Yer mood's improved. Didn't realize b'fore, you got so focused on therapy an' walkin'."

"Oh," The Doc half smiled and shook his head. "I suppose it is yes. Just knowing she's alive, that she isn't being held in some lab…"

"Big relief," Jayne agreed. "Gotta wonder why she'd run from Mal an' Zoe, Mal's bein' like a _Bà ba_ to her." He frowned, "Know they were sayin' that big _fèi wù_ _gǒu niáng yǎng de_ was sayin' she was his. Growlin' at them an' all."

"River was never one to tolerate any sort of…" Simon was frowning in thought. "Male posturing, for want of a better term."

"Don' like macho huh?" Jayne could see that. Whenever he, or Mal or Simon, or anybody really, had tried to puff up an' order her around they'd gotten precisely squat to show for it. She'd just look at them an' make some crack an' all their puffing went fizz like air out of a balloon when it got stuck with a pin.

"Buddha no," Simon half grinned. "And the fact that she could pretty much take any of us mentally or physically gives her a good argument as to why she shouldn't have to tolerate it."

"But she was takin' it from him," Jayne considered. "Unless it ain't anythin' like ownership." He looked at Simon, "Tell ya, other thing came to mind…but I dunno if you're gonna like it."

"You think they're lovers," Simon wasn't stupid. That top three percent brain worked good when he paid attention. Getting him to pay attention, that was another problem entirely but Jayne was workin' on that.

"If they remembered right, him sayin' that she was his an' he was hers," He looked at Simon. "Argues for partnership at the very least."

"If she loved him, seeing Mal and Zoe…" Simon sighed. "When River decides on something, when she loves someone…" He shook his head, "She loves them forever. It still hurts her that our parents didn't come to find her, told me to stop looking."

"So… we catch up to 'em, might be things aren't what Mal an' Zoe think they are," Jayne nodded. "Assumin' we catch up to 'em. I mean if River turned her brain ta avoidin' us?"

"We won't ever find her," Simon groaned. "I have the sudden urge to find Badger and beat the information out of him."

"We go back to Persephone could at it to our…eye-tin-ar-ary," Jayne grinned at him. Who'd a thought almost three years ago he'd be usin' high-falutin' words like that. An' knowin' what they meant too.

"Don't tempt me," The Doc shook his head.

* * *

It wasn't long after that Simon took him aside. "Need to talk to you Jayne," Doc's voice was serious as a heart attack.

"Yeah, sure," Jayne didn't have anything better to do. He sure wasn't in a hurry to go rearranging cargo or clean the head.

"Jayne I think that you'll agree of the two of us, you're a much more intimidating presence," Simon began.

"Well I'm bigger, but I don't got the scary rich Core fella attitude like you can get," Jayne personally found it awesome when Simon pulled that attitude out and used it on little _gǒushǐ duī_ like Badger.

"No," Simon agreed. "I'm more intimidating to people like law men and bureaucrats. Useful in certain situations. But not scary."

"No, 'less you get out yer guns or them scalpels like Mal done cut hisself on, you ain't exactly a scary sight," Jayne agreed. "So?"

Thankfully Simon got to the point, "It's your job to scare people. And sometimes scare them into giving you information, like Dobson, back when we first came aboard."

"Yeah. Threat'nin' ta cut off ears is fun, but 'less I act'ally do it, an' that's all sortsa mess…" Jayne shrugged.

"How would you like some lessons in anatomy," Simon smiled. It was not the sort of smile Jayne was used to seeing on the Doc's face. This was something he could imagine stretching Niska's mouth, cold, wicked and a touch cruel.

"Now yer lookin' scarier Doc," Jayne told him honestly.

"Sorry," He shook his head. "I mean to say, what if I could teach you ways to hit someone that would hurt them, but it wouldn't necessarily make them bleed out?"

"You mean like…kickin' a guy in the nuts," Jayne realized. "He'll live, but he ain't likely gonna wanna."

"Something like that, only a bit more subtle." Simon nodded. He tapped Jayne's lower back. "For instance, hitting someone here? It damages the kidneys, hurts like nobody's business, but the only blood you see is in their urine later."

"Huh," He'd had some idea about that but having Simon explain exactly what hitting there did… that could be all sortsa useful an' not just for gettin' information. Hit someone in the right place an' you'd end a fight real gorram quick. "Well you seen how bad I am at schoolin' when we pulled the hospital job, but I'll give it a go."

"Don't worry, this isn't anything you'll have to spout off to hospital officials," Simon chuckled. "I imagine you have plenty of useful knowledge that you simply don't articulate."

"English Doc, English," Jayne groaned.

"You know more than you're saying," Simon clarified.

"Oh, yeah," The gunhand gave him a grin. "I'd kinda have to wouldn't I? Be all sorts of a _méi yòng_ _bèn dàn_ if I didn't."

"And you're not a _méi yòng_ _bèn dàn_." The Doc agreed with a smile.

* * *

He still got a chortle out of it every time he remembered what they'd done ta Saffron. Simon's smirk as he caught Jayne's eye after just made the two of them start laughing hysterically all over again. They'd had the devil of a time keepin' their faces straight on the way back to _Serenity_.

Once Mal had gotten back on the boat he'd had Mattie set course at a hard burn for Beaumonde. Simon and Kaylee got busy cross-ref'rencin' all the ships that had taken off from Persephone after River'd been sighted an' all the ones currently docked at Beaumonde's spaceport. They found a couple, but only one registered with joint ownership between a man and a woman. A Knorr. Simon was assigned that ship to watch as it bein' the most likely an' if River an' the big man got past the rest of them, he was in the least danger from his sister if there was some sorta problem.

The rest of them were scattered through the port, some watchin' the other two ships, others on watch for River an' the big man. Mattie and Jason were left on _Serenity_ to keep an eye on things and keep the two of them outa Beaumonde's polluted atmosphere.

Jayne was given the job of hangin' out 'round the main entrance of the port so he could watch for River. They all had earwigs in, checkin' with each other every quarter hour or so. "Hey, got somethin'," He muttered, trying to not look directly. "Fella big as me, wearin' black an' grey."

"Any sign of River with him?" Mal's voice came back.

"Might be, but if she's there she's on his other side, cain't see for sure. They're headin' south, might be you can get a better look," He reported back. "You want me ta follow him or stay here?"

"Picked him up, that's definitely the fella we saw at Badger's," Zoe's tones were flat and certain.

"Follow him Jayne," Mal ordered. "Zoe, you do the same, we'll get 'em in a pincher."

"River's definitely with him," Zoe reported. "He's tuggin' her off to the side, out of traffic…" Her voice paused, "_Tiān shā __de_ , they know somethin's up. He's picked her up, carryin' her and runnin' flat out. Simon, looks like they're headed your way."

"We know these docks, everybody get over to Simon's position pronto, we can cut 'em off there," Mal ordered.

Jayne began to run.

* * *

He didn't know what Simon had been hoping to hear. He'd known from the minute Simon described the mercs that took River; the girl was in for a bad time until she could get away. They'd had the sense to use gas on her, leastways that was the workin' theory (as Simon called it) so chances were they knew she had combat trainin'. Likely they'd get her chained up good and then unless someone interfered… and that was gorram unlikely.

When Mal an' Zoe talked about the big man she was with, he'd halfway thought maybe another crew had taken out the first an' one a them had tried to help River. If he'd had any idea Simon didn't know about guild mercs and their _tiě shí xīn cháng_ _è guàn mǎn yíng _ tendencies he'd have enlightened the man long ago. God knew none of them were ignorant about what men could do to a woman. The look on Simon's face when Jayne'd had to explain…

He really didn't want to have to do that again. He'd learnt his lesson. From now on, keep the Doc ape-rised of worst-case scene-ar-ee-ohs, no matter how much he might not wanna say it, or if Simon might not wanna hear it.

River seemed good though. Happy with that big man she called her partner. Obvious to anyone with eyes that she was in love with him an' he was just plain gone over her. The way he'd watched them… Mal and Zoe especially…Like he figured they'd try to snatch her up an' take her away. Or worse.

Not that Jayne could blame him. To hear what they'd been thinking, what had made River think she wouldn't truly be welcome back… Well. He'd nearly lost his temper. Yeah he had a few thoughts back before Miranda 'bout what life mighta been like if she an' Simon had never stepped foot on the boat. But since Ariel… no. She had no choice so nothin' was really her fault. Simon's maybe, for comin' on the boat but it were Mal's choice to let 'em stay.

He could see River was comfortable in her skin, so long as her partner was beside her. Richard B. Riddick. Might be the only man in the 'Verse could keep up with her. Probably the only reason she didn't keep her back to the wall when she was in the galley with alla them on _Serenity_. He'd heard Simon talking to her on the stairs. Her answer hadn't surprised him, nor Simon neither from the sound of his voice.

When the Doc came down from the infirmary, lights turned out, Jayne sat up on the bench, "C'mere, I'll spot you."

"You must be tired," Simon shook his head. "Let's just work with the free weights tonight."

"Yeah a bit, but I wanna talk to you 'bout somethin'," Jayne nodded. Simon took a seat on a crate nearby and picked up a weight, as he gave Jayne a curious look. "Ya saw how River is with her partner?"

"She's in love with him," Simon smiled. Doc was good like that, even if he'd miss her, he was glad River was happy. "I think he'd kill any one of us if we hurt her."

"Yeah he's gone on her all right," Jayne smirked. "Richard B. Riddick, wrapped around them little fingers a hers."

"He's…an intimidating presence," Simon commented.

"Yeah. Doubt you'll ever meet anyone more dangerous 'sides River," He agreed. "But that's kinda my point. Didja see how she was looking 'round the galley once we's on _Serenity_?" He shook his head when Simon began to answer right away, "Think on it Doc. Mal an' Zoe's behind her. Me an' Mattie in front a her. You're next ta Mattie an' Kaylee… how'd River look. When you saw her face."

Since Miranda, and especially since River had been taken, Simon had taught him a few things, the importance of thinkin' a job all the way through, comparin' it to when ya punch, ya hit to go past their head, not just hittin' their face. He'd stressed how details could mess up a job, how not thinkin' 'bout all them steps, what's needed for each one, an' how problems could arise, would screw them more surely than the Feds bargin' into an illegal craps game.

But Simon had picked up a thing or two from Jayne, while Jayne was learnin' from him, an' reading people, payin' attention to their faces, that was something Jayne was very good at. He wouldn't've lasted four weeks as a gunhand if he weren't. He weren't the smartest fella on the boat, but he did pay attention. Knowin' what was comin' from the look on someone's face had kept him alive more'n a time or two.

"She… she looked almost…" Simon didn't want to say it. Jayne could tell. "Worried?"

"She looked like she was realizin' there's four people in that room, five if you include you, all of 'em bigger'n her." Jayne told him bluntly, "She ain't a big woman. She's smart and she's fast, but she's a lot skinnier'n she was. An' I'll bet she gets tired out quicker. Riddick hadn't been with her… doubt we'd've even gotten her up to the galley. Don't think she'd a gone further'n the cargo deck. Plenty a ways out here an' room ta run."

"They gassed her, or so we think," Simon recalled. "And when she was on _Serenity_, before she got her mind back…I had to dose her now and then. You helped me once or twice, so did Zoe and Mal." He put the weight down and shook his head, "_Tā mā de niǎo_, we're lucky she didn't have a flashback."

"We'd've had a helluva time keepin' her from killin' alla us if she had," Jayne agreed. "But you know Mal, an' Zoe'll back him for all she don't care to have River back on the boat. Mal'll try ev'ry gorram thing to get her 'home' because in his mind that's where she should be. 'Til he says go anyways."

"She waved, gave us the address," Simon half smiled. "That big…dog? He had his face over her shoulder, sniffing her and she was laughing and telling him to find Daddy." His smile widened, "It must be a joke between the two of them because I could hear him yelling 'Told you, don't call me his daddy. Sounds _tā mā __de_ wrong.' And she was giggling even more."

"Relaxed an' happy, an' on her own boat where she knows she's safe," Jayne nodded. "She's got that Knorr set up so there ain't nothin' happens they don't know 'bout. Probably feels safer on that boat than anywhere else in the 'Verse."

"Jayne would you…" Simon hesitated and then continued. "I can drag Mal down for an exam. He hasn't had one and he keeps putting me off. If I can get him off the bridge, would you wave the _Sanguine_ and tell them…that we understand? That we'll miss her but we know she's better off with him? So he knows at least that I, we, support their relationship?"

"Yeah… yeah I think I might could do that," Jayne gave it some thought. "I'll head on up like I'm goin' to my bunk. You come with me, grab Mal… Zoe an' Mattie'll be in bed by this time."

"Kaylee's in bed too," Simon nodded and gave him a smile. "Thanks Jayne. I appreciate it. And I think…I think he respected you, for the way you talked to Mal and Zoe. For how matter of fact you were. Concerned about River but you weren't sentimental about it."

Jayne waved him off, "You were the same. Just ain't as easy for ya ta say s'all."

Simon shrugged, "Still." He stood, "I'll get going distracting Mal."

The gunhand nodded, "I'll head on up."

* * *

_Author's Note: So they found River again…and they've met Riddick. The next chapter might take some time for me to post because it covers the end of 'As the Night the Day' and I don't want to spoil the end of that._

Chinese Translations:

_gǒu niáng yǎng de_ (son of a bitch)

_hún dàn_ (bastard)

_gē ge_ (big brother)

_Bà ba_ (Dad, pops, daddy)

_fèi wù_ (good for nothing)

_gǒu niáng yǎng de_ (son of a bitch)

_gǒushǐ duī_ (a person who behaves badly (lit. "a pile of dog shit"))

_bèn dàn_ (fool **/** idiot) "a pile of dog shit"))

_Tiān shā __de_ (Goddam!)

_tiě shí xīn cháng_ (to have a heart of stone / hard-hearted / unfeeling)

_è guàn mǎn yíng _ (lit. strung through and filled with evil (idiom); filled with extreme evil **/** replete with vice **/** guilty of monstrous crimes)

_Tā mā de niǎo_ (goddamn it)

_tā mā __de_ (fucking)


	3. Chapter 3

River was good 'bout sendin' them waves regular-like. She'd let them know where they were plannin' to hit dirt an' how long they'd be there, case _Serenity_ wanted to meet up with _Sanguine_. Both of the boats workin' jobs of their own, it weren't always possible but they tried. For a while whenever Simon had tried to wave her back they got an 'outa range' message which was gorram odd. But River had mentioned that Riddick wasn't from the Alliance originally. Once Simon recalled that bit a information he throttled back on the panic some. O' course his sister's very relaxed posture an' smiling face when she waved them next went a long way towards easin' everyone's mind.

Once in a blue moon they got lucky enough to work together on a job, like the one with the relay of cargo. _Serenity_ had picked it up from Monty and _Sanguine_ would pick it up from _Serenity_.

They'd gotten to meet the merc clan River was willin' to deal with, a pair of steely eyed blondes joined at the hip an' two others. Chang was a whipcord thin fella with a long braided black tail of hair an' the almond eyes of mixed race Asian, similar to River, though his skin was darker. Jacobs was his polar opposite, buzzcut reddish hair an' chocolate skin with muscles to rival Jaynes.

Turned out they were on planet to collect on a bounty, somethin' the magistrate of Higgin's Moon had put up. They weren't best pleased ta find out it weren't pre-sise-lee legal. But they shrugged that off like they'd been through worse. 'Course if they'd dealt with River an' Riddick they had. Then they'd all gotten to hear just how it was that River and Riddick met.

Dahl, Johns and their men took off after a while and that gave the rest of them a few minutes. Maybe they'd be able ta talk eventually. Once they got their lungs workin' right again an' their hearts at a close ta halfway normal tempo. He'd heard some doozies an' Miranda hadn't been easy, but River an' Riddick took hair-raising tales ta new heights.

"Not for the faint of heart," Simon's hair was almost standing on end he'd run his hand through it so many times trying to calm down. Jayne was fairly sure Mal was close to pullin' his out. "_Wǒ de mā_. You weren't joking."

River shook her head, "Happy ending though." She maintained.

"Yeah, you two got each other," Jayne smiled slightly. "Though if you do run inta that Luna guy again, send us a wave. Think we'd all like a share in makin' him pay."

Riddick chuckled, "Assuming there's time." One big hand rubbed up and down River's spine. "And if there ain't, we'll wave you with the news at least."

By general con-send-sus (that was another Simon word that meant they all talked 'bout it) they agreed to take themselves back each to their own boats and find an out of the way spot to move the goods. River was perched on a crate marking something off on her cortex while Riddick an' the rest of them used the mules to move the contraband. Jayne'd heard Riddick growling at her to rest or she'd fall asleep at dinner. Jayne kinda had to agree, River was still way too thin for a woman her age.

"Whatcha got there?" Jayne nodded at the databook curiously.

"Arranging for our next job, for after we drop off the cargo with the next ship," River explained. Dog had come down to investigate the comings and goings and Jayne cautiously held out a hand for the big animal to sniff. "Dog, friend." She told the animal and the crazy haired thing became even more bouncy and friendly.

"Ya got an interestin' mark there," Jayne nodded at the scars on her neck. They looked a helluva lot like a bite, 'bout the size of Riddick's jaws. "Didn't have that when we saw ya on Beaumonde."

"No," She looked up at him and smiled. "Rick didn't have her mark on his neck then either."

"So… it's mutual, whatever it is," He figured. That was good. Anybody else saw it he'd be able to point out that they sported matchin' teeth marks. That would shut people up. He hoped.

"Decided to keep each other, always," River told him with a wider smile. "Like wedding rings."

"You gonna get 'round to them?" Now he was just indulgin' his curiosity.

She didn't seem to mind, "Must let my partner know such would be welcome. Still unsure of what the girl wants and what she will allow. Cautious when it comes to pushing her for too much."

"Better that than too pushy and cain't take no for an answer," Jayne kissed the top of her head like he would Mattie's.

"He is very good to her," River nodded, her smile like that cat that got in the cream.

Really that was all need be said. So, he changed the subject, "Dog like ta play fetch at all?"

* * *

They seemed to end up on Persephone more often than not these days. It was a familiar port of call, not so polluted that Mattie couldn't go out an', most importantly, River preferred ta meet there. What Riddick preferred was anyone's guess but he seemed pretty content to go wherever River did. Not that he was under the thumb or anythin'. Anyone hearing the two of them talk to each other couldn't make that mistake. That was an equal partnership in every way or he'd eat the cunning new hat his ma had sent him. And then he'd eat Mattie's for good measure. Just as well he hadn't assumed anything, he doubted wool would set well in his belly.

Riddick had relaxed about River's relationship with the crew of _Serenity_ enough that he didn't feel the need ta be at her side every minute she was on the boat. Jayne guessed that it helped some River pointin' out that she'd put trackers on _Serenity_ if the ship ever lifted off with her inside it an' it wasn't an emergency. She avoided alone time with Zoe but Kaylee was as good a friend as ever an' Mattie was becomin' just as close. Pretty much everyone was thrilled to death that 'tween some repairs an' jobs _Serenity_ and _Sanguine_ would be dirtside for a full week.

River had been giving her big man odd looks the whole mornin', while he contrived ta look as innocent as he could. It was a strange sight on the man's face. Considerin' he's a killer a lotta times over… He didn't do 'who me' very well.

Jayne guessed Rick'd learned the trick of hiding his thoughts from River though because she didn't seem ta have a clue what was goin' on. Riddick had dragged him an' Simon down to see Badger an' asked the man where he could find weddin' rings ta would suit him an' River.

Simon's mouth had dropped open so wide he oughta have caught flies an' Jayne had barely kept from doin' the same. The only one not surprised was Badger. The irritating little crime boss had whistled for his thugs, grabbed his hat and gotten them all trooping downtown to what he called the Diamond district. It wasn't really, but if you wanted expensive goods without expensive surroundings, the District was the place to go.

Riddick had explained what he wanted an' if his request didn't prove he knew River inside an' out, backwards an' forwards nothin' did. How many fellas would know their girl needed a sparkly ring with the sparkles sunk in ta the band? River doing the work she did, mechanic, gunhand, criminal mastermind hand in hand with her partner, she couldn't have anythin' that'd get caught on machinery or clothin'.

They'd come away with River's engagement ring, hers an' Riddick's wedding bands an' Riddick's very firm instruction ta think a anything but the rings or what they were doing that morning. Jayne figured ta think on gun shoppin' an' Simon muttered something 'bout updatin' his medical files.

Thank God an' Shepherd Book it hadn't taken the man long ta propose. The next mornin' the sparkly ring was on River's finger an' she was going out with Kaylee and Mattie to look for a dress.

While she was doing that, Riddick got ta deal with Mal.

* * *

"Got something needs to be done," Riddick told the Captain. His tone of voice didn't give the impression of bein' receptive ta anything but an affirmative response. Typically Mal let that blow right over his head. Jayne put down the gun magazine he'd been looking at and poked Simon to make the Doc look up.

"So? Get to doin' it then," Mal barely looked at the man.

_Dà xiàng bào zhà shì de lā dù zi_, Jayne sighed to himself and barely kept from rolling his eyes. Sometimes Mal was so gorram _yú bèn de_ Jayne wished Zoe would run the ship. Or Simon. Hell even Kaylee or him. Not Mal.

"No. This is something needs doing by you," The goggle wearing man's arms were crossed but that didn't mean they weren't close ta at least three a the knives he kept hidden.

"Don't see where you're in a position to be telling me to do anything," Now the Captain was gettin' his back up. An' that weren't a shock at all.

"Mal, maybe you didn't notice the sparkly ring River's sportin' on her left hand?" Jayne figured he'd better clue Mal in before Riddick actually killed him.

"Noo… can't say I did. Just noticed she was all worked up to get out with Kaylee and Mattie," Mal shook his head.

"Well she's got a pretty fine piece of platinum with actual diamonds on her ring finger," Jayne told him. "Rick saved up most a his money ta buy it. So maybe ya might could pay some attention to what the man's wantin' done?" He didn't say 'before he loses his temper, guts you and Simon gets to practice emergency surgery, again, you _kě wù de lǎo bào jūn_' but he figured it was implied.

"Uh huh," Mal was either deliberately ignorant or he was messing with them. "And you're wanting what now?"

"I want you to marry River and me," Riddick told him clearly. "Wouldn't care who did it, but River seems to value your opinion."

"Uh…no…hell no…" Mal shook his head. "_Chú fēi wǒ sǐ le_. Ain't no way in the 'Verse you're marryin' River."

"Well considering she said yes, I'd say yeah I am," Riddick growled at him.

"There is no way in hell I'm going to let you marry our little Albatross," Mal blustered.

"Oh you will," Riddick moved, and Jayne knew he'd had knives hidden close to his hands because Mal suddenly had a very sharp carved blade against his throat. "Or you're going to be wearing your _tā mā __de_ entrails as a necklace."

Jayne casually pulled his python out of the holster and pointed it at Mal, "An' if that don' convince ya Mal, I'll be happy to give ya a bullet ta carry around whilst you're thinkin' 'bout it."

Mal gaped at him and then Simon sighed, "Captain Reynolds, you will marry my sister to Richard or I will be performing a very simple elective surgery. It will have very little effect on your day to day life, unless you wish to sire children or have relations with a woman. Ever again."

Jayne nearly laughed. That had to be the most elegant way he'd ever heard someone threaten to castrate a man. "Damn Doc," He shook his head. "Only you'd make threat'nin' ta cut someone's balls off sound even half nice."

Simon slanted him an amused glance, "I've observed that I'm taken a bit more seriously when I use big words and medical jargon." His dark eyes went back to Mal, "And I assure you Captain, I am deadly serious. Riddick makes my sister happy. Makes her feel safe. I will not allow you to jeopardize her happiness in anyway."

Jayne couldn't stop the chuckles then, though he was able to keep his gun nice and steady on Mal's middle, "So Mal, what's it gonna be?"

"I'm waiting," Riddick growled. "My woman went to buy a wedding dress. So she's having a wedding, and I don't care if it's over your dead body." Jayne figured Rick had caught what Mal had been saying when he thought the escape convict couldn't hear him. The man didn't speak much Chinese except cursing but he understood it well enough.

"Fine!" Mal had squawked and grumbled and practically pouted but he hadn't done anything within earshot of River, Kaylee and Mattie.

Not that it fooled River really. She took one look at Mal, then at Rick, Jayne an' Simon an' kissed her partner firmly on the mouth. She gave Jayne an' Simon a nice peck on the cheek while orderin' them to take Rick an' find him some nice slacks along with somethin' ta wear with them.

* * *

It was really Simon's expertise was needed but Jayne figured a man like Rick could do with some moral support. An' it was probably time he found somethin' ta replace his stripey blue shirt. The thing was getting' pretty worn an' not as nice lookin' as he liked. He might go to whorehouses or, as Simon politely called them, brothels, but that didn't mean he shouldn't dress up. Whores deserved ta have someone shine up for them just as much as any woman. More in his opinion.

So he reminded Simon a the need for larger than usual sizes. Lord knew River's _bàng jiār_ wasn't a wiry guy like Simon. Doc could lift until he was blue but he'd never bulk up ta Jayne or Rick's weight. Just didn't have the bone density for it.

"So what else've ya been up to," Jayne asked as Simon expertly flipped through what he called 'dress slacks' in search a somethin' that would suit Riddick an' hopefully still look good for a weddin'. Doc had lent Riddick his blue specs so the man wouldn't stand out like his normal goggle-wearin' self. Riddick had examined them thoughtfully an' nodded, putting them on an' looking pleasantly surprised at the result.

"Got in touch with those folks we met up with on Hera," Riddick glanced at him to make sure he recalled the instance. As if Jayne could forget the first time they heard the whole story a how River an' Riddick had met. Hair-raising didn't even begin to describe. "Kitten and Dahl get along pretty good. And their new guys are decent. Dahl passed on the news about Luna to us when she saw it posted on the merc bulletin boards. She and Kitten've been passing info back and forth, keep Dahl and Johns from going after anyone with a contract not quite kosher. They give Kitten a percentage of the fee when they collect in exchange."

"Must make their lives a bit easier," Simon commented as he selected several pairs of slacks. "Try these and see how they fit." He pointed towards the dressing room catty corner from them, "We'll keep looking for shirts."

"Yeah," Riddick agreed as he disappeared into the changing room. It didn't take him long before all but one pair of pants were tossed back over the door. The pair he emerged with were a dark charcoal grey.

"They fit well? Comfortable enough?" Simon took the slacks.

"Yeah, good as it'll get I think," Riddick shrugged. "I can move in 'em. Long's they'll look good with Kitten's dress an' she'll like them."

"I haven't given you anything to try that won't look good with her dress," Simon assured him. "River says you have trouble with colors?"

"Unless I'm wearing a special set of goggles," Riddick nodded. "I don't really see them."

"I wonder if we could get a set of spectacles made to do the same. Something to look into, when you and River have time," Simon mused. "I'd suggest something more like a tunic than a typical dress shirt. River's gown is…influenced by the culture she grew up with."

Jayne watched as Simon began looking through the shirts for something to match the slacks and River's dress and pointed at one in a paler grey. "That one's nice, got the collar don't need a tie, so he ain't gotta choke himself."

"The grey won't work with the slacks," Simon explained as he took it out to examine the style. "River's gown is more cream than white, to complement Rick's skintone and hers. That's why the grey I pulled has a slightly off white undertone to it. It…" He frowned as if thinking of how to explain. "It looks warm. The grey shirt looks cold."

"Oh, it's got some yella to it ya mean," Jayne studied the pants. "So what about somethin' matches River's dress then?"

"Something in off-white," Simon nodded.

Jayne smirked. He would have bet money that the last thing he and Simon would ever be plotting together on was wedding clothes for his future brother-in-law. "Long's we're lookin', my nice shirt's getting pretty worn out. Been meanin' ta get a new one. River's wedding is a good reason."

"Yes, that awful striped thing is rather…tattered," The Doc took clothing seriously. "And honestly Jayne, it doesn't suit you."

"Lady in the store told me it matched my eyes," Jayne frowned. Not that he doubted the Doc, but it was gorram irksome to hear somethin' he'd been wearin' for years looked bad. Not that he'd know either way.

"Well it's blue. But you need a good warm blue. You have brown hair, more tanned skin, blue eyes… she should have found you a better shirt." Simon pulled three different shirts, one with very thin stripes in blue, one a dark purple and another in a really rich red that reminded him of Inara's shuttle walls. "Any of those, assuming they fit, would look good on you and wouldn't look too out of place with those brown or khaki cargo pants you wear."

"How d'ya know alla this Doc," Jayne blinked. If he'd looked through the whole store he wouldn't have found three shirts he liked. And all of them nice soft fabric, the purple one was in Chinese style with frogs down the side, the other two more western looking.

Riddick chuckled, "He's Core."

"Yeah?" Jayne knew he was missing somethin'.

"Kitten, when we're starting out as partners, we didn't have much money. So we couldn't do much but work and sail and fix up the boat," The big dark man explained easily. "We'd talk, entertain each other. She told me that anybody who's from a 'good' Core family like her and Simon, they have to be able to look perfect. They represent their family in public and they need to look good. So they have to know clothes and how to pick 'em out. What'll suit them. And how to tell what'll suit their kids so they can teach them eventually. She said looking _shàng bù dé tái pán _was the worst thing you could do."

"You learnt all this stuff when yer a kid?" Jayne blinked, shaking his head. It was all he could do to keep letters straight in his mind. Numbers were fine but other stuff?

"I imagine it would be like your father teaching you to weld," Simon suggested after a moment's thought. "I have no idea what to do with a torch and solder. For you it's second nature." He half smiled, "You have a very analytical mind Jayne, when you chose to put your thoughts on something. Look how quickly you picked up on River not being comfortable on _Serenity_."

Riddick looked over at him, "You mean you're the one been saying 'meet up at the pub or the docks or whatever', instead of us always coming to visit your boat?"

"Ain't all me," Jayne shook his head uncomfortably. "Simon's been doin' it too, an' Mattie, when she's seein' me an' Simon, she's startin' to make suggestions."

"Mal doesn't like to leave _Serenity_ much," Simon uttered the understatement of the decade. "And if he's on _Sanguine_ that means he's not in charge of the boat. So he's uncomfortable."

"Out of his territory," Riddick nodded. "And Kitten doesn't feel safe in his anymore. But with you two, and Mattie, pushing for neutral ground, we can meet up without anyone getting too worked up about the where."

"Yeah," Jayne shrugged. "Mal's the type ta cut off his nose ta spite his face. If he thought River plain old wouldn't come to the boat he'd say screw it, don't visit then. And we wouldn't see her for a year or more. Sayin' 'hey there's a bar friendly to Browncoats an' they don't look too close at papers neither'… that works better."

He was vividly conscious of Riddick studying him. Talk about an uncomfortableness, deadliest person he knew besides the little girl who could kill him with her brain, staring at him… Yeah, uncomfortableness didn't cover it. Damaging his calm didn't really fit the bill either. "I knew there was more to you than met the eye when Kitten described you," The silver eyed man said finally. There was no overt hostility in his voice so Jayne let himself relax just a bit. Not much though, not when Riddick started talking again, "She said you were a lot smarter than you let on."

"I'd kinda hafta be," Jayne shrugged hoping the discussion was at an end and Riddick's staring was almost done too.

"'This fellow is wise enough to play the fool', she told me," Riddick smirked. "Your Captain doesn't have a clue does he?"

"Not much a one," Jayne let out the breath he'd been half holding. "But he's always been good 'bout ignorin' what he don' wanna know."

"Witness how long he kept himself in ignorance of River's abilities," Simon rolled his eyes as he held out a shirt to Riddick. "Try this one on for size."

That brought their minds back to the serious business at hand. Wedding clothes.

* * *

The wedding were't fussy. _Serenity's_ cargo bay got all swept up. The merc crew arrived a couple hours beforehand an' stayed until a few more after. It were funny to see Mal flirtin' with the pretty blonde who was new to the group. Chang couldn't stop starin' at Zoe, not that it'd do him much good. The only thing that got her ta smile these days was her kid Jason.

Riddick kept one arm wrapped around his new wife's waist, while the other held her hand. After some serious starin' at Kaylee an' Simon dancing he swept River into a set 'longside them. He weren't bad at it either. And River was havin' the time a her life.

Jacobs was barely as tall as Mattie, he mighta topped out half a centimeter taller'n she was. If she was in bare feet an' he was wearin' boots. But that didn't stop him from dancin' with her an' flirtin' like she's the most gorgeous woman he'd ever seen. He figured he'd have to pull the man aside an' give him a talking to if he hadn't heard the two of 'em exchange wave addresses.

Hell if it came to that, it weren't like they couldn't use another gunhand. Ain't like he was gettin' any younger. It might be nice ta settle down, do some gun smithin' out on the rim. He'd have to pay attention ta that courtship, if it turned out ta be a courtship. Hell, maybe he'd even find some nice whore wanted ta retire an' have some kids. He sure had enjoyed Helen's company out on Odin. She'd been good with the guns too, for someone totally green about 'em. And she had the softest hair. He'd had a real good time brushin' it out for her whiles he's gettin' his second wind. She hadn't seemed ta think he was a completely _méi yòng_ _hún dàn_ either.

Speaking of settlin' down with kids, he looked over at Simon, "So…when d'ya figure River'll tell Rick she's set ta start havin' babies with him?"

Simon blinked in surprise and then laughed, "I don't know why it always shocks me when you know these things Jayne." He shook his head, "Of course you'd put wedding vows and River visiting me in the infirmary together." The Doc was still smiling, "Wise enough to play the fool indeed."

* * *

_Author's Note: So there you have it folks. I'm working on a little story in the same 'Verse, about River, Riddick and Mrs. Niska, but it won't be ready for a while. Hope you enjoyed this._

**Chinese Translations**:

_bàng jiār_ (lover / partner)

_Wǒ de mā _(My mother! Mama mia! Similar to "Oh my God!" in usage)

_yú bèn de_ (stupid)

_kě wù de lǎo bào jūn_ (horrible old tyrant)

_Chú fēi wǒ sǐ le_ (over my dead body)

_tā mā __de_ (fucking)

_shàng bù dé tái pán (_too uncouth to appear in public (idiom) / unfit for a public role)

_méi yòng_ _hún dàn_ (useless bastard)


End file.
